As a Certified Financial Planner for the past 35 years, I have assisted hundreds of women in addressing their financial challenges and conquering the fears that accompany them. I can assure you that regardless of the financial issue you are facing, there is always a solution and a plan available.
Let’s face it—many women unknowingly put their financial futures on hold, whether by avoiding money matters, undervaluing themselves, or getting caught in a cycle of debt.
It’s not that we don’t care; it’s often influenced by societal norms, self-doubt, and sheer overwhelm. But here’s the thing: taking charge of your finances isn’t just empowering—it’s essential. Here’s how to identify the areas where you might be holding yourself back and what you can do to change that.
Why Are We Doing This to Ourselves?
First, the statistics don’t lie. Women tend to carry more non-mortgage debt than men, averaging $20,000 compared to $13,000 for men. That’s a significant gap! While we’re making progress in areas like income and education, financial confidence still lags behind. In fact, nearly twice as many women as men rate their investing knowledge as “non-existent.” This hesitation leads to fewer of us building wealth through investments—57% of women don’t invest at all. Why? Most of us feel that we lack sufficient knowledge or don’t have enough money to start.
With the everyday pressures of balancing work, family, and personal life, it’s easy to see why money often gets sidelined. Burnout is a real concern, and it’s no wonder that financial planning gets overlooked when you’re just trying to make it through the day.
The Sneaky Ways We Sabotage
So, how does financial self-sabotage manifest? Here are the key points:
Procrastination: We avoid checking our bank accounts, creating budgets, or addressing debt because it feels overwhelming. We also delay having important conversations, getting organized, or establishing a financial plan.
Undervaluing Our Worth: Women often hesitate to negotiate salaries or charge what they’re worth in business. It feels as though we’re afraid of upsetting the status quo or being labeled as “demanding.” This often stems from our money mindset, which was shaped early in life by what we were told and what we observed around us. These misconceptions prevent women from embracing their power.
Ignoring Finances: Avoidance is easier than confronting financial stress directly. However, ignoring the problem does not resolve it—it only exacerbates the situation. When we procrastinate, issues often arise unexpectedly, triggering a crisis that disrupts everything. I refer to this as a Triggering Event, which typically leads to a state of emergency with limited options available.
Debt Trouble: Whether it’s credit cards or student loans, debt can feel like a pit of quicksand. Without a management plan, it continues to pile up, undermining our confidence and keeping us awake at night.
How to Turn Things Around
Ready to take control? It’s easier than you think. Here are a few tips to get started:
Start Small: Procrastination feeds on the belief that everything must be done perfectly right away. Instead, choose one task—like reviewing your budget—and set a timer for 30 minutes. Progress is better than perfection.
Know Your Worth: Whether you’re asking for a raise or setting your rates, remind yourself that your time, skills, and expertise hold real value. Practice negotiating—it’s a muscle you can develop! Find someone who is a high earner to work with you. Powerful!
Learn the Basics: Don’t let the thought of “I don’t know enough” hold you back. There are many beginner-friendly resources available for learning about budgeting, saving, and investing. Start with small investments. For example, investing $100 a week or month regularly can grow over time.
Tackle Debt Strategically: First, focus on high-interest debts and consider automating payments to stay consistent. It’s not glamorous, but it works. Call your bank and negotiate with them. Get help from your financial advisor, CPA, or even a debt counselor.
Why It Matters
Taking control of your finances involves more than just the numbers. It’s about freedom, confidence, and creating a future that reflects your dreams. By addressing these patterns and making small, consistent changes, you’ll be surprised by what you can achieve.
Download my ebook, The 5 Biggest Money Mistakes Women Make and How to Fix Them. It’s filled with stories and examples to help you start building wealth.
So, let’s stop sabotaging ourselves and embrace the wealth we all deserve. You’ve got this!
Katana Abbott, CFP®, is a Midlife Millionaires® Coach and Certified Social Security Claiming Specialist, and the host of Smart Women Talk. For over 35 years, Katana has helped Baby Boomers plan for retirement, including how to create lifetime income, how to optimize their Social Security benefits, launch an encore career, and prepare for long-term care. She has written several books, created a financial literacy course, and is a popular speaker. Katana has been honored by NAWBO as one of Detroit’s Top 10 Businesswomen, receiving the Breakthrough Award. To download her new retirement guide, Three Smart Strategies to Maximize Your Retirement Income, visit www.katanaabbott.com.